how to become your childs granddad

[gordon's humongous wang]

1: sell lots of sperm to sperm bank
2: later break into sperm bank and find records of where your sperm went
3: find out who your biological children are
4: somehow "randomly" meet them, get to know them and seduce them, if it is your daughter and she insists on you using a condom then make sure you have one that is likely to break (maybe one that expired ten years ago). you should proceed with the goal of impregnating her, that way you can be your childs grandpa!

[chaney]

wow gordon. just wow.

[reyler]

there is no problem involved in becoming your own mother or father that a well adjusted family cannot overcome.
that quote is inaccurate, but i don't happen to have a copy of the restaurant at the end of the universe on me right now.