stuart
crack the shell
Posts: 108
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Post by stuart on Sept 14, 2005 20:10:22 GMT -5
Howdy folks.
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Post by chaney on Sept 15, 2005 2:26:19 GMT -5
It's spelled "chisel" dude.
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Post by chaney on Sept 15, 2005 16:55:15 GMT -5
Here, I will share the truth with you!  This watermelon was very sad one day, because she was all cut up and no one cared!  But, lo! A man appeared on the horizon! And as he drew near he declared "Watermelon! I am Peter Jennings! Weep not, for I am the one on whom you may lean!"  The watermelon cried, "But sir! You don't understand! My flesh is torn, my body broken! A section of me lies at my very feet!"  Jennings replied, cooly, "I know you've been hurt. I know you're in pain. But if you just look at my tie and take hold of my foot, you'll get through this. I'm Peter Jennings."  "Here, it's right here."  The watermelon stood still for a moment. Could it trust this man, he of the very same species which mutilated and defiled the bodies of its brothers and sisters? It stared. The man's eyes seemed so genuine, so kind. Could his intent be evil? Surely not! The melon took a step forward.  "Yes, come closer," Jennings said with a smile. "Come meet my family."  Sensing danger, the melon froze in terror. Suddenly, its life flashed before its eyes.  It remembered its brothers and sisters on the farm.  And it also remembered the cruel injustices done on his kind by the devilish humans.  The humiliation and degradation.  The disregard for melonic feelings and emotions.  The savagery.  Suddenly, Jennings cried out, "Now! Children, now!" And they were on him!      The young Jenninglings overtook the melon with no effort at all, their tiny fingers digging greedily into the red melon flesh. The final moments of the melon's life mixed horrific agony with deep, unbearable shame.  The end! |
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stuart
crack the shell
Posts: 108
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Post by stuart on Sept 17, 2005 12:53:40 GMT -5
That was the most beautiful narration I've heard in awhile.
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Post by chaney on Sept 17, 2005 20:32:33 GMT -5
Or was it the ugliest?
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Post by reyler on Sept 23, 2005 18:12:26 GMT -5
the frightening thing about that is that you had so many watermelon photographs on hand.
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Post by chaney on Sept 23, 2005 19:44:17 GMT -5
actually, i got all those off of google, so they weren't really in my hand. i guess i'm just not very scary. i'll try harder next time.
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Post by reyler on Sept 27, 2005 16:54:42 GMT -5
actually, i think it's even more frightening that this story simply appeared in your brain and you were able to find all the proper pictures to complement it.
so, be proud, o disturbating pronoun!
i should thank greg one of these days for accidentally coming up with the word "disturbating".
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Post by Caitlin on Nov 3, 2005 3:12:10 GMT -5
Wow...that really was beautiful.
Anata wa totemo hen desu ne!?!?!?!
(Japanese rocks my socks)
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Post by reyler on Nov 5, 2005 17:47:00 GMT -5
eiga hanashimasu, gaijin!
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Post by chaney on Nov 5, 2005 19:12:02 GMT -5
Yeah, white girl!
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Post by reyler on Nov 16, 2005 18:45:45 GMT -5
wasn't that particular line of nipponese in the mr. sparkle commercial back when the simpsons was a halfway decent show?
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Post by chaney on Nov 17, 2005 1:14:56 GMT -5
I have no idea!
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